I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
