I'm gonna have a badass scar
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
