# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
