so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
