No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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