Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
