What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
