I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize