they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
