That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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