:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
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I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
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I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Bring me that man meat
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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