why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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