Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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