people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
