I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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