I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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