My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
