i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
