apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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