Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
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i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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