It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
