I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
