Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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