do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
