Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
