I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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