I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
