you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
