haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
