So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
