Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
