Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
