I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
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I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
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Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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