so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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