the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
