he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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