Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
