Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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