Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
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remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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