I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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