it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
