So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
