I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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