oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
