i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
