So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
