I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
