I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
