I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
how does that bad decision feel?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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