I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
