She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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