ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
