everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
