U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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