Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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