Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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