508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
