The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
