Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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