His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
