Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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