Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
