I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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