There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
