she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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