My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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