Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
